does anyone even care anymore? i'm sick to death of people pretending to be my friend. you arent my friend. you could care less about how i feel. stop pretending to be concerned...

i feel as if ive been left behind without any warning.  as if everyone has moved on but me.  i'm stuck.  i'm so lonely and i dont know how to stop feeling this way.  certain people, ones who i thought were one of my best friends, just left and i dont exist anymore.  am i jealous?  i have no idea, i'm too busy being hurt because ive been replaced.  and i dont think replaced is even the word i want.  more like, i've been overlooked. left behind... maybe its the amazing passive aggressiveness that is what's getting to me.  i cant stand passive aggressiveness.  i hate the fact that one damn person can make me feel this way. i wish so badly that i could just stay numb, but apparently i cant do that anymore.

i just cant do this anymore.  but where does that leave me?  how the hell can i stop feeling this lonely?  those are rhetorical questions of course, because i know there are no answers for me.  damn...

i... have a crush.

and nothing's ever going to come of it, i'm sure.. he has a girlfriend and even if he didnt, long distance never works.. but still. i have a crush. what a good feeling